Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Protecting Joselyn (Kindle Worlds) Page 10

  At exactly six o'clock, River stood outside of ballroom two with Joselyn on his arm. After the day's signing session had ended at five, they had packed her table contents into the boxes underneath. River wanted to bring everything to her room but she assured him the doors would be locked and nobody would be allowed inside; everything was safe. However, as they started to leave, he grabbed the bag of candies. The incident with the strawberries reminded him to keep anything she may be consuming close by.

  "Okay," she murmured turning to him. "This shouldn't take long. Think of it like a cocktail party. People will be mingling, talking and usually, drinking. Don't be nervous."

  He chuckled. "Are you talking to yourself or me? Honey, I've been to many balls and formal gatherings while I was in the service." His eyes wandered over her. "You look stunning, by the way."

  And she did. She had put her hair up into a fancy arrangement with little ringlets framing her beautiful face. The makeup she wore was light, a bit of dark gold on her eyes and a little more underneath making the whiskey colored depths pop. It didn't look like she had put anything on her cheeks and her lips were pink and glossy. The dress was what his sisters referred to as 'the little black dress every woman needs'. It hugged her body from the Mandarin collar to just above her knees with three quarter length sleeves and made of some shimmery fabric. He lost his ability to speak when she turned around. It was open with soft folds framing the creamy expanse of her back ending with a gentle swoop of gathered fabric resting above her rear. She'd finished the outfit with a pair of black heels, a tiny wristlet to keep her cell and some simple stud earrings.

  The smile she gave him was dazzling. "Thank you, Maddox. You look pretty awesome yourself and thanks for not refusing to wear a suit." She smoothed the lapels of the dark blue jacket and fidgeted with the two-tone gray tie. "Handsome."

  Lifting her hand, he pressed his lips to her fingers. "I love hearing you say my name. Do it again."

  Her cheeks flushed and a seductive little smile graced her lips. She pulled her bottom lip into her teeth and breathed, "Maddox."

  He groaned and closed his eyes. "Woman, what you do to me." Pulling her into his arms, he lowered his face and took her lips in his. He kissed her in a gentle, sweet brush and nipped the bottom. Letting her go he pulled back slightly. "Green apple lip gloss?"

  She nodded.

  He leaned in and licked her lips again before sucking the bottom into his mouth. "MMM. There's no doubt about it, it's my favorite flavor." He whispered huskily. "Come on, let's go before I forget I'm a gentleman and whisk you off somewhere quiet and secluded and do things to make us both blush."

  "I sincerely doubt much would make you blush, Maddox," she whispered.

  "Minx," he groaned again, closing his eyes and steeling himself. Taking her hand he tucked it into the crook of his arm and opened the door to the ballroom.

  As they walked in, the sudden hush turned into a loud yell of "Surprise!"

  He almost lost it when several people jumped toward them. Immediately, he yanked her behind him and reached for his gun only to realize he had left it locked in the safe in their suite. He swore. She had begged him to leave it behind for the party citing it was secluded and safe. He wouldn't be doing it again.

  "Relax big guy," Annabeth laughed bouncing over with something pink and tropical in her hand. "It's a little birthday party for Joselyn. Happy birthday, honey."

  He blinked. Was it her birthday? Crap! How did he not know it? "It's your birthday?"

  She dropped her chin. "Yeah."

  "Mother..." he stopped at the glare she gave him. "Trucker," he finished lamely. "I didn't know. I feel like such a jerk."

  "How could you know?" The color of her face turned an even darker shade of red. "I haven't exactly advertised it."

  "If I had known, I would have gotten you something."

  She pressed her hand against his chest. "You did. I have a big bag of green apple candy waiting for me in my room. Honestly, it was so thoughtful of you. Thank you again."

  They looked at each other for several heartbeats until Annabeth pushed them gently toward a table in the middle of the room. The cake upon it was a beautiful pink and mint with fuchsia stargazer lilies framing the center. He read the white icing letters therein.

  Happy 28th Birthday, Joselyn

  Wait. Was she twenty-eight? That meant he was ten, almost eleven years older than her. A muttered curse slipped through his lips and he took a step back. It never occurred to him she would be so much younger. It wasn't as if she looked older but the way she carried herself, he had assumed she would be about thirty or thirty-two at the most. An eight-year gap he could handle. But no, she was twenty freaking eight years old! That made him a dirty old man, a creeper, a cradle robber. He pushed his fingers through his hair. He was falling in love with a girl who was still in elementary school when he had graduated high school and joined the military. Cripes.

  He took in several deep breaths. He needed to think. No, he needed to do his damn job and keep Joselyn, keep his client, safe. He can figure out everything else later.

  "Maddox?"

  He gave Joselyn a nod and clasped his hands behind his back. "Yes?"

  Her eyes clouded. "What's wrong? The Frost Giant is back."

  "Just doing my job. Enjoy yourself, I'll keep an eye on everything."

  Her bottom lip trembled but she drew herself together. "Alright." She turned away to join her author friends and acquaintances. Looking over her shoulder, he could see the hurt swimming in her gaze. The look, along with the hesitant way she had spoken almost made him go to his knees but he made himself stand strong. He had to put some space between them before somebody got hurt. He knew age difference didn't matter to other people but she wasn't 'other people'. She was Joselyn, a woman who had already been through too much in her short, twenty-eight-year lifespan. She did not need to be saddled with an old man like him. He couldn't do that to her. He had to take a step back before it was too late.

  The problem was, it was already too late.

  Chapter 13

  Joselyn had no idea what she had done wrong but whatever it was, it must have been bad. Sitting on the passenger side of Maddox's truck, she stared out the window, watching the passing scenery. Ever since the first night at the party, he had become withdrawn and every attempt by her to engage him in conversation had fallen flat. He remained courteous and even helpful throughout the three-day conference but something fundamental had changed between them. No longer did he call her Joselyn, choosing "Ma'am" and "Ms. Kendrik" instead. Gone were the smoldering gazes and the "accidental" brush of hands as they worked together to set up her table each day. She missed the easy manner in which they had gotten along. She missed him. Along with his tenderness, the small bit of peace she had acquired evaporated. When the nightmares visited before, he would suddenly appear and wake her with a kiss or a caress, ensuring her she was safe, secured, and cared for. Last night she awoke in the middle of the night, sweaty and panting, her pillow still wet as she struggled to disentangle her legs from the sheets. She saw the light go on in the sitting room connecting their bedrooms. A shadow blocked out the light shining under the door but after a moment, it withdrew and the light turned off. The absence of his comfort hurt most of all.

  "River," she tried again. "Maddox?"

  He grunted.

  She sighed and turned to face him. "Please, will you tell me what I did wrong?"

  He never took his eyes off the road. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ms. Kendrik."

  That's it. She was tired, her heart hurt, and she felt dejected. Curling her hands into fists, she closed her eyes and screamed inwardly. "Pull over." Her voice was cold and full of fury.

  "We are almost to New Orleans."

  "Pull. Over. Now."

  "I'm sorry, Ms. Kendrik but that's not an option," River stated flatly. "We are too exposed out here and your house is less than an hour away. Unless it's an emergency, it can wait until you are safely inside your ho
me."

  She glared at him. "Fine but you better be ready, Mr. Benson, because you and I are having a long talk. I'm already ticked off so another hour of simmering should put me right about to boiling." She turned and glared out the window, watching the miles race by. She was going to get some answers and soon because this situation wasn't working for her.

  Traffic coming off the I-10 was congested because of an accident. Instead of an hour to brood, Joselyn got almost two. Stomping into her house, she threw her bag on the table, kicked off her shoes and disappeared into the kitchen. Breaking out the bottle of red, she poured herself a full glass before gulping half of it.

  "Do you think it's a good idea to drink on an empty stomach?"

  Her look threw daggers. "Believe me, you want me to be a little mellow." She tipped the glass back, finished it and poured another to the halfway mark.

  Maddox turned. "I'll go get your boxes in."

  "Leave the damned boxes," she growled. "You and I need to talk."

  He sighed and pushed his hands through his hair. "I don't think..."

  She snorted. "That's obvious."

  Pushing past him she went into the living room and dropped onto the sofa. She tucked her feet under her and braced the glass on her leg. "Sit."

  One of those deliciously dark eyebrows quirked at her order. Normally, she would have giggled or teased but right now she was plain mad. "Sit. Down," she repeated a little more forcibly and took another drink of her wine. She barely resisted the urge to throw the glass at him when he sat ramrod straight in the chair across from her.

  "Alright, something has pissed you off, made you mad, upset you or something. Until Thursday night, you were sweet, kind and attentive. Suddenly, you became the Frost Giant again and frankly, I don't know why. All I do know is this: I have whiplash from your mood swings and I'm freaking tired of it. You are going to tell me what's going on!"

  He studied her a moment before slowly shaking his head. "There's nothing going on, Ms. Kendrik."

  Fury burned through her. "The hell there's not. Did you hear me? I've cursed twice in the last two minutes. It's more than I have in the past year. I'm that confused and upset! Something is bothering you and I want to know what it is." She dropped her face into her hands as the anger drained out of her. "Please? Maddox, please won't you talk to me? Tell me what I did to make you so mad that you can barely stand to look at me. I can't take this. It's killing me."

  His mouth opened and closed. He blinked, his face showing more emotion than she had seen all weekend. The protective glare was still there but it was tempered with a bit of sorrow. He looked as if he had lost something precious. Setting the glass on the table, she slid to her knees, knelt before him and place a hand on his leg. "Maddox?"

  His hand covered hers and for a second, she thought it was going to be alright. Warm and comforting, her breath caught as she looked with longing at his hand resting so protectively over hers. The moment passed and he pulled his hand away letting the cold demeanor slide over him again.

  Her heart broke. Whatever was going on with him, he refused to share it with her. Rising to her feet, she turned away. Stopping in the doorway, she looked back at him. "If you are going to close yourself off from me, I think it's time for you to go," she whispered. "I'd rather go into WitSec again than return to what we were before. I can't live like this. I just... I can't. You mean too much to me now. I could face anything because I knew you would be there for me, taking care of me, standing by me, being my rock when the demons circled. But knowing you can't stand to be in the same room with me," she shook her head sadly. "I've given you too much already and I can't be here in this house with you and turn off how I feel. It's not possible. So if you insist on keeping yourself withheld from me, you need to leave and I'll call Jonathan tomorrow. I'll go back into protection until this thing is through."

  He shot to his feet, reaching for her but let his hand drop. It became obvious he was contemplating walking out of her life instead of discussing whatever it was bothering him. It hurt. She felt her heart shatter and her soul rip in two but she stood her ground. Even though she wanted to run to him, to pull him into her arms and hold him, she couldn't. Whatever was causing this rift between them was on him and he had to address it. So she waited, watching the emotions as they washed across his handsome face.

  "Eleven years."

  In an instant, the decision had been made and he dropped into the chair. Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his knees and ran both hands through his hair.

  "Excuse me?" Her brow furrowed. "I don't understand."

  He looked at her. "Eleven years. I didn't realize you were so much younger than me. Until I saw the cake, it never occurred to me there was such an age difference between us. You carry yourself more mature than twenty-eight. I thought you were at least thirty or thirty-two."

  "Okay, there's eleven years between us. I fail to see where it matters."

  He stood and started to pace. "Can't you see? It matters. I'm almost forty, Joselyn. I'm retired from the military. While you were going to sleepovers and learning how to drive, I was already several tours into my service!"

  "I wasn't a big fan of sleepovers."

  He closed his eyes and growled. "That's not the point. The year I graduated high school and enlisted, you were in second grade. Second grade, Joselyn. I was an adult and you were only a child. I'm too old for you, too old to saddle you with a busted ex-sailor covered in scars both inside and out. Look at you. You're a successful author with a bright future. Your whole life is waiting for you."

  With a snarl, Joselyn darted over until she stood toe to toe with him and dropped to sit on the coffee table. "Yes, Maddox, my whole life is waiting for me. You are right about that but it's the only thing you are right about. You forgot something there. It is MY life. Mine. You can't tell me how to live it. My Lord, I'm currently hiding in this house because someone else thinks they have the right to dictate to me, and now you are doing the same? So what if you are eleven years older. So what if you are retired from the military and my career is starting. So what!" She screamed and slapped at the wetness trickling down her cheeks. "You may be older than me, "she continued, "but it doesn't matter because I know the kind of man you are. You are protective, funny, loyal and strong." She poked him in the chest. "In here beats the heart of the man I care about and it doesn't matter to me if that heart is thirty-eight or eighty-eight. Age is just a number."

  "A pretty big number," he retorted.

  She threw her head back and furiously roared. He made her so mad! Here she was wondering what had upset him and it was her freaking age? Seriously?

  "You know what? To be so much older and wiser, you are really slow sometimes."

  He rubbed his chest where she had poked it. "What would your mother say if she knew?"

  "She wouldn't say anything. Maddox, my father was thirteen years older than my mother. He and her brother, my uncle Max, were best friends their whole lives. So see, it's probably genetic. We Kendrik women like our men aged to perfection."

  Seeing the stunned look on his face melted away the anger until she felt only a bone-deep exhaustion. Cupping his face, she turned it to her. "I know you are trying to come to terms with this but seriously, it's not a big deal. If two people care for each other, age doesn't matter. If it doesn't bother me, it shouldn't bother you, and it really doesn't matter one bit what other people say." Joselyn stopped and took a cleansing breath before continuing. "You know, my Mom was a pretty smart cookie. She said that God, in his infinite wisdom, sometimes did things we could not understand. She was a firm believer in thinking He created someone who would be perfect for each of us. Sometimes, it was at the same time but sometimes one of them had to age a little first. Mom and dad knew each other their whole lives but only fell in love later. They got married when she was twenty-three and I came along when she was twenty-nine. They had thirty-three wonderful years together before he died and though she misses him terribly, she wouldn't trade one m
oment for all the gold in the world. That's the kind of love I want. I'd rather have one year with somebody I love than to spend thirty years with someone I just got along with." She mentally slapped herself when she realized what she had said. In an attempt to cover those hasty words, she stood and gave him a warm smile. "I'm tired. I got no sleep last night and the drive home stressed me out. I'm going to go take a long soak in the tub and order from Giovanni's. Afterward, I'm going to take a nice nap and when I wake up maybe we can continue this conversation, yeah?"

  He seemed to finally understand what she was saying because he stood up, cupped his hand around the nape of her neck, massaging it gently. With a sigh, he nodded. "Yeah."

  They stared at each other a moment then pulled her to him and lowered his lips to hers. She had been kissed tenderly. She had been kissed passionately. This time, she got desperation. She could feel the turmoil in him finally release as he claimed her once again. Lips mashed together so hard their teeth almost touched. It was wild, consuming and she freaking loved it.

  Panting, he pulled away and the fire she had gotten so used to seeing in his icy blues was back. Thank God! Her knees threatened to buckle and she clung to him.

  "I thought I was doing what was right. I thought I needed to pull back, to give you options. I want you to be happy, even if it wasn't with me. I'm sorry if I hurt you," Maddox said earnestly.